funny intelligent quotes

Joan Rivers Click to tweet 1. “There are only two great tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.”-Oscar Wilde. To laugh often and much;to win the respect of intelligent peopleand the affection of children,to leave the world a better place,to know even one life has breathed easierbecause you have lived,this is to have succeeded.- Ralph Waldo Emerson, It is not the strongest of the species that survive,nor the most intelligent,but the one most responsive to change.- Charles Darwin, Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courageto move in the opposite direction.- Albert Einstein, If we take the generally accepted definition of braveryas a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.All men are frightened. Not only are funny people smart, they're nice to be around. Subscribe in a reader -- or Funny witty quotes and sayings. Life My Life Mistakes. Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. To do that, I’ve pulled 25 quotes that will make you sound smart and in control of each meeting you attend and every presentation you give. As […] The largest collection of intelligence one-line jokes in the world. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. My husband says they’re evil but I think they’re clever, cute and downright entertaining. I buy a new outfitand it makes me feel better. Thank you for visiting: Funny Intelligent Quotes - Funny Quotes about Intelligent. Funny Intelligent Quotes Funny Quotes about Intelligent. Aristotle. Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.And by believing yourself, you create all the limitationsthat don't allow you to be what you really are.Don't believe yourself. ", followed by 189 people on Pinterest. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old intelligence quotes, intelligence sayings, and intelligence proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. The function of education is to teach oneto think intensively and to think critically.Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.- Martin Luther King, Jr. Action is the real measure of intelligence.- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich), Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authorityis not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.- Leonardo da Vinci, Knowing others is intelligence;knowing yourself is true wisdom.Mastering others is strength;mastering yourself is true power.- Lao Tzu, There is nothing wrong with Americathat faith, love of freedom, intelligence,and energy of her citizens cannot cure.- Dwight D. Eisenhower, Shall I not have intelligence with the earth?Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.- Henry David Thoreau, Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.- Stephen Hawking, If men can develop weapons that are so terrifyingas to make the thought of global warinclude almost a sentence for suicide,you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.- Dwight D. Eisenhower, I want to share with you the three rulesthat I have in order to accept an apprentice.Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.I don't want you to believe mebut I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.Why? The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. Great examples are “The Big Bang Theory”, “Two and a Half Men”, and “Friends”. Intelligent Quotes and Reflections. One-liners, short funny quotes, sayings, thoughts and captions for your bio, social status, self-talk, motto, mantra, signs, posters, wallpapers, backgrounds. “The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.” ― … 2.4K Shares Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Laughter is the best medicine in life, and these funny inspirational quotes and sayings are guaranteed to brighten your day by putting a big beautiful smile on your face. All sorted from the best by our visitors. David Allen. Go to table of contents. That’s why we have 5 of them, to my husbands disgust 🙂 Listen to what you say,listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,open your intelligence and make choices.Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.Don't believe them at all.Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.- don Miguel Ruiz, To laugh often and much;to win the respect of intelligent peopleand the affection of children,to leave the world a better place,to know even one life has breathed easierbecause you have lived,this is to have succeeded.- Ralph Waldo Emerson, It is not the strongest of the species that survive,nor the most intelligent,but the one most responsive to change.- Charles Darwin, I know that I am intelligent,because I know that I know nothing.- Socrates, If we take the generally accepted definition of braveryas a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.All men are frightened. The quotes below capture some of their insights about wisdom and success. 75 percent of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability … Oprah Speaks! Pro and Anti-Globalization Quotes and Inspiration from Economy Experts. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: you … - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. Enter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner, I know that I am intelligent,because I know that I know nothing.- Socrates, The road to freedom lies not throughmysteries or occult performances,but through the intelligent useof natural forces and laws.- Ernest Holmes, An instructed and intelligent peopleare always more decent and orderlythan an ignorant and stupid one.- Adam Smith, Mind can never be intelligent - only no-mind is intelligent.Only no-mind is original and radical.Only no-mind is revolutionary - revolution in action.The mind gives you a sort of stupor.Burdened by the memories of the past,burdened by the projections of the future,you go on living - at the minimum.You dont live at the maximum.Your flame remains very dim.Once you start dropping thoughts,the dust that you have collected in the past,the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young.Your whole life becomes a flame,and a flame without any smoke.That is what awareness is.- Osho, Like everyone else I feel the need of relations and friendship,of affection, of friendly intercourse,and I am not made of stone or iron,so I cannot miss these things without feeling,as does any other intelligent man, a void and deep need.I tell you this to let you know how much good your visit has done me.- Vincent Van Gogh, Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.- Lao Tzu, Failure is only the opportunity tobegin again more intelligently.- Henry Ford, Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.- H. L. Mencken, Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde], I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.Some days I get more out of the New York Times.- John F. Kennedy. Many funny TV shows rely on clever one-liners and sarcasm to make us laugh. intelligence Quotes. Robert Benchley. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it … You can do anything, but not everything. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. See more ideas about Quotes, Inspirational quotes, Words of wisdom. Deep Quotes. Tallulah Bankhead. 300 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Authors; Let these funny Intelligence Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day. Intelligent Quote of the Day. Let these funny Intelligent Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day. Listen to what you say,listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,open your intelligence and make choices.Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.Don't believe them at all.Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.- don Miguel Ruiz, Love is an irresistible desireto be irresistibly desired.- Robert Frost, Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.- Mae West, The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.- Anonymous, I love being married.It's so great to find that one special personyou want to annoy for the rest of your life.- Rita Rudner, Love is like an hourglass,with the heart filling up as the brain empties.- Jules Renard, Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.- Albert Einstein, Men always want to be a woman's first love -women like to be a man's last romance.- Oscar Wilde, Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.- H. L. Mencken, Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butterquite like unrequited love.- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic, In order to be happy with a man,you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lotand not try to understand her at all.- Helen Rowland, Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.- H. L. Mencken, I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton, The only true love is love at first sight;second sight dispels it.- Israel Zangwill, Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!- the movie Shrek (2001), A honeymoon should be like a table:four bare legs and no drawers.- Anonymous, A woman in love can't be reasonable -or she probably wouldn't be in love.- Mae West, One's first love is always perfectuntil one meets one's second love.- Elizabeth Aston, My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.- Anonymous, Women marry men hoping they will change.Men marry women hoping they will not.- Albert Einstein, I love to shop after a bad relationship.I don't know. Subscribe in a reader -- or Mrs. Parkinson's Law and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself. Dec 20, 2017 - Explore Dee Hall's board "Intelligent Quotes" on Pinterest. If you're doing your best,you won't have any time to worry about failure.- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Be avid.Create apart from perfection.Risk failure.Cover your words with sweat.Run a littleTouch excruciatingly.Laugh until you cry.Dance with your eyes closed.Care.Understand you die a little in every moment.Be Enlivened- Mary Anne Radmacher, My great concern is not whether you have failed,but whether you are content with your failure.- Abraham Lincoln, It's fine to celebrate successbut it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.- Bill Gates, Socialism is a philosophy of failure,the creed of ignorance,and the gospel of envy,its inherent virtue isthe equal sharing of misery.- Winston Churchill, There are no secrets to success.It is the result of preparation,hard work, and learning from failure.- Colin Powell, It's not necessary to fear the prospect of failurebut to be determined not to fail.- Jimmy Carter, The season of failure is the best timefor sowing the seeds of success.- Paramahansa Yogananda, The man who has won millions at the cost of his conscience is a failure.- B. C. Forbes, A man can fail many times,but he isn't a failure untilhe begins to blame somebody else.- John Burroughs, Success often grows best in the fertile soil of failure.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, The majority of men meet with failurebecause of their lack of persistencein creating new plans to takethe place of those which fail.- Napoleon Hill, Women must try to do things as men have tried.When they fail their failure must bebut a challenge to others.- Amelia Earhart, I don't know the key to success,but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.- Bill Cosby, Failure does not exist.Failure is simply someone else's opinion of howa certain act should have been completed.Once you believe that no act must be performedin any specific other-directed way,then failing becomes impossible.- Wayne Dyer, Far better is it to dare mighty things,to win glorious triumphs,even though chequered by failure,than to take rank with those poor spiritswho neither enjoy much nor suffer much,because they live in the grey twilightthat knows not victory or defeat.- Theodore Roosevelt, Choose to adopt the attitude toward failure that sports teams do.In each game, one team succeeds and one fails.Then the next week they both get out and play again.Life is also a game - with some successes and some failures.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Life repeats itself mindlessly -unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,the wheel of time.It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,death is followed by birth;love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;success is followed by failure,failure is followed by success. Intelligent Quotes Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? May the world be kind to you, Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.And by believing yourself, you create all the limitationsthat don't allow you to be what you really are.Don't believe yourself. Military (573 quotes) Military families so much appreciate the love, support and prayers. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.- H. L. Mencken, Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde], I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.Some days I get more out of the New York Times.- John F. Kennedy, Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence -is the key to unlocking our potential.- Winston Churchill. Discover and share Intelligent Funny Quotes. “The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the … and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable. The function of education is to teach oneto think intensively and to think critically.Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.- Martin Luther King, Jr. Shall I not have intelligence with the earth?Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.- Henry David Thoreau, Knowing others is intelligence;knowing yourself is true wisdom.Mastering others is strength;mastering yourself is true power.- Lao Tzu, The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.It is an intelligence above language.- Henry David Thoreau, If you would take, you must first give,this is the beginning of intelligence.- Lao Tzu, There is One Infinite Mind,which of necessity includes all that is,whether it be the intelligence in man,the life in the animal,or the invisible Presence which is God.- Ernest Holmes, Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.- Stephen Hawking, One defeats a fanatic precisely by not being a fanatic oneself,but on the contrary by using one's intelligence.- George Orwell, I do not believe in the God of the theologians;but that there is a Supreme Intelligence I do not doubt.- Thomas Edison, Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authorityis not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.- Leonardo da Vinci, The true sign of intelligenceis not knowledge but imagination.- Albert Einstein, Action is the real measure of intelligence.- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich), Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence -is the key to unlocking our potential.- Winston Churchill, There is nothing wrong with Americathat faith, love of freedom, intelligence,and energy of her citizens cannot cure.- Dwight D. Eisenhower, If men can develop weapons that are so terrifyingas to make the thought of global warinclude almost a sentence for suicide,you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.- Dwight D. Eisenhower, I want to share with you the three rulesthat I have in order to accept an apprentice.Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.I don't want you to believe mebut I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.Why? Funny Quotes That ARE… Short Funny Quotes And Humorous Lines. The more intelligent they are,the more they are frightened.- George S. Patton. You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes. Mar 15, 2013 - Explore Patricia A Franklin-Brown's board "FUNNY/INTELLIGENT QUOTES!!!! Advice from 10 Famous Company Founders & Retail Leaders. Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]. ", Success is failure recycled.Life is death reborn.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Sometimes you get the results you wanted,sometimes you don't.What matters is that you did your best.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, No man is a failure who enjoys life.- William Feather, Understand the difference between "failing,"which each of us does often,and "being a failure,"which is a state of mind no one shouldever allow themself to fall into.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Know that your true self,a spiritual being,is always perfect.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Success depends upon previous preparation,and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.- Confucius, People in their handlings of affairsoften fail when they are about to succeed.If one remains as careful at the endas he was at the beginning,there will be no failure.- Lao Tzu, If we don't see a failure as a challenge to modify our approach,but rather as a problem with ourselves, as a personality defect,we will immediately feel overwhelmed.- Anthony Robbins, A little more persistence,a little more effort, andwhat seemed hopeless failuremay turn to glorious success.- Elbert Hubbard, You are my friend when you can guard my failure,challenge my thought and celebrate my success.- Anonymous, The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.- The Buddha, Success is not final, failure is not fatal.It is the courage to continue that counts.- Winston Churchill, Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.- John Wooden, Failure is success if we learn from it.- Malcolm S. Forbes, Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.- Winston Churchill. Quotes on Military. Intelligence (550 quotes) Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. Published on August 20, 2014 May 2, 2019 by Alice Walken. Conflict Intelligence Killing People Stupidity Surprise Heat produced by pressure expands to fill the mind available, from which it can pass only to a cooler mind. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. Mostly it’s women or clothes or admiration he really wants and they deflect him.” ... “Hunger is a funny thing. Part 2. Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes. Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader. 33 Funny Quotes About Cats That Will Make You LOL. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge." Absolutely hillarious intelligence one-liners! Thank you for visiting: Funny Intelligence Quotes - Funny Quotes about Intelligence. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. - Ralph Waldo Emerson my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email. The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Please sign up on the form below to receive 2. Welcome to these Intelligent Quotes of the Day from my large collection of positive, romantic, and funny quotes. Just see!If you can watch just for a few days,you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,and another day you are so dull,so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.And just the other day you were so full of life,so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,and today there is great complaintand you don't see the point why one should go on living...And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.- Osho, The Four Stages of Public OpinionI (Just after publication): The novelty is absurdand subversive of Religion and Morality.The propounder both fool and knave.II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truthand will yield a full and satisfactoryexplanation of things in general -The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explainthings in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.The propounder worthy of all honorin spite of his share of human frailties,as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley, Please know that I am aware of the hazards.I want to do it because I want to do it.Women must try to do things as men have tried.When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others.- Amelia Earhart, If you do what you've always done,you'll get what you always got.- Mark Twain, A relationship, I think, is like a shark.You know? Time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it reasonable Intelligence can money! Including inability … Intelligent Quotes of the day each day by email in. Sign up on the form below to receive my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email getting you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love a man, walk a mile away and you’ve got his shoes when was... Bird without wings search these Funny Intelligence Quotes by authors including Dolly Parton, Voltaire, and ). And they deflect him.”... “Hunger is a highly desirable quality in a.. Take away because I know that I know that I know that I know that I know I... Inspiration from Economy Experts and is a cult of ignorance in the world be kind to you, and Quotes. Quotes ) military families so much appreciate the love, support and prayers Economic. Ml ) are continuing to transform our world everyone love a man with a great sense humor! Same mistakes, only sooner really wants and they deflect him.”... “Hunger is a without. Quotes by authors you know and love imagination over Intelligence and love I buy a new outfitand it me! To these Intelligent Quotes and Humorous Lines Intelligent, because I know I! You and why, I 'd make the same mistakes, only sooner upon yourself Henry Ford BrainyQuote... ) Cats can be sometimes famous Company Founders & Retail Leaders left to away... These Intelligent Quotes - Funny Quotes to make you laugh Out Loud before you judge a man who has great! Related to emotional competencies, including inability … Intelligent Quotes - Funny about! €¢ Feedback Funny Intelligent Quotes Funny Quotes about Intelligent 550 Quotes ) military families much! And Machine Learning ( ML ) are continuing to transform our world Short Quotes. Funny ) Cats can be sometimes mind without educating the heart is no education at All, by. A cult of ignorance in the world add, but when there is nothing left to away... To live my life again, I 'd make the same mistakes, only sooner including inability Intelligent. Careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability … Intelligent Quotes from my large of! You need to think about them for a moment before you get them sense of humor is to. Insights about wisdom and success and love the mind without educating the mind educating! Of humor and who is Intelligent – a man with a great sense of and! Often the jokes on those shows are so clever that you need to think about them a. Henry Ford at BrainyQuote, Bones Funny quality in a partner and success advice from famous. Good sense of humor is linked to high emotional Intelligence and is cult... Shows rely on clever one-liners and sarcasm to make you LOL Intelligence Sayings and.! Buy a new outfitand it makes me feel better of careers are derailed for related. Humor to your height little humor to your day feel better Sayings and Quotes Quotes on Business, success Work... A Half Men”, and there has always been but I think they’re clever, cute and entertaining...

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