he says he loves me but won 't commit

If he decides that he wants me back, now he knows what I want, my values and my standards. I know your heart is breaking. My boyfriend introduce me to his family. She says she loves me but doesn't try to make plans to meet up and after almost a year it seems she's still afraid of even sleeping with me. If you want someone to tell you they want to spend the rest of their life with you then end this relationship because that other guy is out there. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend, and even wife, potential? He would go to storage and sit there for hours. Everything seemed cool but lately he started to pull back and became distant. This started month when I text him and he did not response back and sometime he text for short. hi, My ex lives across street, he uses that as excuse alot yet he goes & asks for favors etc yet wants me to limit my talks … its frustrating 6 yrs is along time & he had me end many friendships he didn’t agree with yet his friends can do no wrong. If I was you I’ll remove myself from that whole situation. Just move on your still young and have plenty time to date or even marry again. How do I stop & get back the sense of security as I’m guessing that’s the whole issue not feeling secure. Sounds like he was looking for a lot of one night stands before he left. He always seems to run back… He recently told me that he doesn’t see a future for us. Guys are not indecisive like girls. And the aftermath of these situations is never pretty. Love can blind you. So I did what the younger more confident me use to due. You’re a great girl who maybe sold herself a little short and is in a situation where the guy calls all the shots and is just taking you along for the ride as you sit patiently in the back seat, waiting for him to decide you’re “good enough.”. He’s damaged goods. Guys need time to line things up. Wondering if he had a secret life- another gf or wife?? It’s not. To be themselves. We have our arguments, sarcastic little jokes and silent treatment tiffs occasionally but we always apologize to each other and take responsibility for what we say. I just really don’t get it. I’m not sure if I can feign foot loose and fancy free or if I’ll even what to see him by then. I have some confusions about my guy friend we are really good friends from last 1year and on the other side we are friends with benefits also .. That hot and cold treatment leaves you up and down emotionally. He has gone MIA for almost a day and recently almost two days. Okay… So I know it should be obvious… like you said… he said he had no interest and we had no future… but if actions speak louder than words when he says “I love you” but his actions say otherwise… shouldn’t it be true for the other way around? :-/. He never takes me anywhere or invites me to go woth him. This article will help you understand why a man can tell you he loves you and still not want to commit. When we met he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious and just going with the flow. It’s over, no surprise there, so glad I only had to waste a short time. I’m still not sure of my future, however I wouldn’t mind having an actual relationship with him. They ended the relationship since her teenage daughter made it a point to do everything possible to break them up and was always in trouble with the police and destroyed things in his house. I saw him every weekend for the first year then every second weekend. That he let me go tells me that his feelings for me were tepid, at best. HELP!!!! Maybe he just wants to show you off because you’re hot, or maybe he just doesn’t think much of introducing girls to his friends. 4. I want to thank you for this quiz. If you’re the only one making the effort to keep the spark alive and do special things, it’s a sign that he isn’t very invested in you. He told me that he is crush on me since high school. He said it puts too much pressure on the relationship because all of a sudden, if you decide to have a guys night or aren’t able to make it to your girlfriend’s family dinner, you’re considered a jerk. The ugly honest truth is when he says he doesn’t like games or drama, he’s probably going to create a lot of drama and fuck with your head. Any one please help me…. If you have to do that, it isn’t worth having. I don’t know what to do or not to do. He says his family won’t approve and he won’t fight for you. He has a female BFF who he goes on vacation with all the time, going on his 3rd one this year with her yet we have never been on one. I made it clear to him what I need and want from him, I feel like he wants it too. stop seeing him completely? If he’s lost interest in sex and that was the essence of the relationship, it’s time for you to move on. Sorry :(. He works at a fitness school. I love him- but do I need to let him go? I was widowed two years ago and never thought I could be so happy and in love again, though it hasn’t been long. If he doesnt know now he will never know. I opened up and told him that I liked him and wanted serious relationship. It was sad to get this answer from him, that he was not ready, but it is much better to get it now and save yourself from heartbreakage and time wasting. If the man I’ve already wasted far to much of my time with, thinks for one more minute, I’m going to continue doing so, he better be wearing his seatbelt because he’s about to have quite the reality check. I feel & know he loves me but … I always feel things are on his terms.. this time I feel am I wasting my time sure he likes dinner on table clothes & house cleaned.. Boys aren't commit-phobic, they just like to be the ones to push the commitment idea. And I’m not sending him annoying texts either, most of the time they’re complimenting him or sharing some random but funny event that took place. When a man is serious about you, he will slowly introduce you to some of his friends and then his family. thanks for reading this ;). I haven’t looking for a boyfriend and haven’t been relationship for 5 years. He promised a future, love bombed me, played the ‘ my exes used me’ card to get away with any responsibility. And like my favorite song, this situation just repeats. Another red flag is when his best friend or any close acquaintance of his starts showing interest in you. The way I look at it ladies & remember this, because there’s no in between in this situation. Guys mean what they say and you can’t change a man. This came after a year of dating and it was quite shocking for me. But he said that it’s actually easier to him to leave someone that is his girlfriend rather than someone he doesn’t have a title with because then he can just say “I want to break up” and it’s done. All things have to be his way or else he withdraws which is very passive aggressive abuse, and even more bothersome in a way, than aggressive aggressive abuse because it doesn’t seem like abuse, whereas yelling or a hit or slap or punch are definitely abuse(so people get away fast), but this withdrawing when he doesn’t get things his way is still abusive, albeit passively (but you don’t feel it so intensely as being hit, so you don’t know you’re being abused and stay around for more of the same). I haven’t, not because I feel some sort of loyalty there, but because I too am incredibly busy and don’t meet people. Boys aren't commit-phobic, they just like to be the ones to push the commitment idea. He told me there would be no more running from him, he loves me & all that crap is over with…Plan was I’d buy home & he’d sell his to start our lives together well I bought my home 2 1/2 yrs ago he loves the house, but seems we’re 2 people living in separate homes as the signals are confusing to point I’m starting to feel he doesn’t know what he wants. He Says He Loves Me But Won’t Commit. Boy was it good to actually say it all with out shedding one single tear too. I ended a “fake relationship.” It took me a long time to realize this because of my feelings for him but all the points above are true. He doesn’t care about me or love me as he said (I didn’t say it back by the way – and that cut him deep), he doesn’t give a continental crap about anyone or himself. You’ll realize he was telling you all along that he wanted out of the relationship. 7 Signs He Won't Commit To You Because He's Terrified. He might actually say he can’t make plans now because he’s too busy or has things to straighten out first. Ive meet his family friends and even go on days out with him and his son hes meet my friends family and sons he’s always there when i need him. He’ll be excited, and maybe a little nervous about you meeting them because he really wants them to like you, and for you to like them. Maybe it’s in the fairly recent “romantic princess meets prince charming, who whisks her away” ideal that the seed of destruction lies. These aren’t things that require much of a financial investment but they speak volumes about his level of emotional investment. The following evening I tried to express how I was feeling about everything and him too, however he wasn’t listening cause he was on his phone texting and totally not validating my feelings. I broke up with him because I didn’t want to deal with this, the guy is over 30 years and still afraid of commitment? Go with your gut. I love this amnesia part, so savy <3. My insecurities reared their ugly little heads and I lost my job, pushed him away and basically had a little of a melt down. If your boyfriend says he loves you but refuses to commit, you may be wondering, how could that be? I do like him allot. We both were tied down to other people at the time but clearly preferred being with each other. I’ve been and live with my boyfriend for 22 months. In the fourth yr he agreed it was time for us to move in together ( my daughter too as I have her mon-fri ). And more importantly –. One thing we know for sure is that he won’t commit but won’t let you go either. You might know details about their life, but you don’t know who they are, their real and true self that exists beneath all the superficial fluff. The guts in such an act are fuelled by the fact that the friend knows there’s certainly no future for you and your man. We have good time. No longer panicked by the trap, he misses you. The ugly honest truth is if he says he’s one of the good ones, he probably isn’t. So, I wasn’t all that eager for him to meet my family, and he isn’t all that eager for me to meet his. She says she loves me but won't commit to us I'm in a relationship of 10 months with a girl I can't get enough of but she doesn't seem to feel the same. I think the guy likes you He loves her, but he simply doesn't see a 'forever' future with her. I have met his family and his only son really likes me, however, he has not met my family. ... Just like orgasming at the same time or wanting to commit at the same time, confessing mutual love in the same moment is one of the great fallacies of romantic relationships: That successful relationships are founded on perfect timing. Like he’s taking a few steps back. I still can’t quite believe that it all amounted to nothing. I found out he flirted with many. If a guy won’t commit, especially if he seems happy with you, there’s always a reason. Or just move on? However, if you have #3 along with other signs above then really it’s a no go. Help? (Side note: While meeting his friends isn’t the biggest deal, if he won’t introduce you to them it’s a definite red flag.). Em I right? There’s no ifs and or buts…seriously!!! Now he has been laying on his phone and I just don’t get it, please I need advice. He says he doesnt want a relationship but I have met ALL his friends and family. And none of it makes sense to you. If you had the chance to do better would you? We meet every weekend. It seems the things I wanted him to do that caused us to have a fall out, he’s now willing to do. I am not about wasting time, using it to mend a broken heart is as good a use for it as any so long as I am not on a dead end road. But he didnt like me that way tho he liked my personality and me being spontanous. Magnesium Chloride helps calm the system and will help if there is any PTSD. You can indeed do better. Lay your feelings out there for him, walk away, do NOT call or text or email. When a guy is serious about a woman, he shares himself with her. Mostly, the person who is now had fallen in love aka More than just a Crush ends up being hurt. Apologies were given on both ends to some degree, but he still went back to not wanting anything serious right now. don’t be scared just as fast as you found Joe you can find moe lol. Most women nowadays Don’t know the meaning of Commitment. But i’m doing my best to show him how much i care about him. Lily, I spent eight (yes, EIGHT) years waiting on a guy exactly the one you describe. I told him what I want and the effort that needs to come from him in order for us to move in a good direction, and he said he would put in the effort. Hey Elizabeth, your guy has a sort of passive form of borderline personality disorder. It’s not like he can’t commit. I hate to over simply it, and I’m certainly not speaking for every man, but believe you me, that “commitment” you are so desirous of is extremely one-sided and very dangerous for the average man to sign on to, to say nothing of the man with significant assetts. If a guy truly cares about you, he will want to make room for you in his life. engaged on an EMOTIONAL level, and moving. He brings this up many times and I’m not sure what is real. But since i told him that, he’s not distant but he’s keeping distance with the relationship. If he talks about how he dated a girl for months and then all of the sudden she was dating someone else, that’s a red flag because no one is just going to openly start dating someone else unless the man never defined the relationship. Might be never op if we don’t ever get out of the red ink. Then he has also done 3 and 2. I know its hard ( I have been in the same situation), but you need to move on. He also told me via the song that even though people had tried to keep us apart (his family), he wanted to make up for the lost time. He’s not commitment-phobic. Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Really Love You” Quiz right now and find out if he Really loves you... You can talk to someone for hours and hours every day and not know anything real about them. If they don’t want to commit, then there’s plenty of men out there who will. He took me to family weddings and celebrations. There would be absolutely no benefit for him. He told my mother when she asked him about making plans for our wedding. Indeed, that is the core problem. When I was done he started speaking but only broke down in tears, begging for forgiveness and a second change to prove to me that he wants and can be the man that I want. He said through the song that he wanted me by his side always so he would never have to feel alone again. I told myself that’s something I would address down the line, but it wasn’t a huge deal for me. I’m happy I didn’t tell him I loved him and am moving on to the one.instead of keep trying with the the me guy. I want to encourage yourself I don’t want to hurt his feeling. ty you put liz’s beau in a catch 22, he’s trying to take the time to get his life together(job, car, career, etc) before asking her for a committment — but to you he’s worthless because he doesn’t have a job and car (why shouldn’t me feel insecure when today’s female puts so much weight in material things). Or do I arrange them?? As I mentioned earlier, when a man is serious about a woman, he brings her into his world. He does tell me he loves me, he is drawn to me, enjoys being with me, respectable, compliments me, we talk, laugh, and enjoy each other. Liz, your guy might also have some PTSD from his deployments which is making him feel unsure and mentally unstable. Wow. And he say he really like me. I am dating a guy whom I was dating 2 yes back n h was wonderful he’d go all out for me n he was married by then.the problem is that I bumped into him sometime in may n he was like oh my gosh I’ve been hoping to find u after a yr n all that h was telling me about the separation n his wife n that I am the woman h ever wanted blah blah w gave it a try guess what he gave me stress for 2 months when its on weekend he spends Tim with his friends h couldn’t even answer my call n h couldn’t even bother calling back h was so cold so different from the man he was b4 we would fight over that until I get enough n dumped him but what surprises me every time I dump him h would call n apologise n all that until I tell him that m tired of his excuses,apologies n promises that h can’t keep coz h Neva changes his attitude. He has only kissed me a couple of times, he says he doesn’t kiss because that’s an emotional connection action. Its like wtf do I do. I am heartbroken, though. Mar 10, 2015 New Line Cinema. 2 years is way too long without any type of commitment. He used my money and kindness. I truly believe he loves me but won’t commit. Thats not to say he is not allowed to change his mind later because people are allowed to change their minds but they are only accountsble when they make up their minds. Im heart broken but i feel that im wasting my time coz i never know how he feels l. Any ideas ladies or gents??? If he was serious about marrying you, then he’d find a way to convince his family that you were right for him – or at least stand up for you if they were casting doubts. So tell me could h b trickin my emotions m really confused but I kind of liking this one I was also confused in June n July asking myself too many questions coz the guy wouldn’t even let me visit his house but now h says I can come as I please, Interesting article…My boyfriend USED TO show 4 of the 5 signs…the only one he didn’t do was the very first one…I have always been his “friend”, his “confidant” in many things…not all, but a lot, even when we WERE only FWB….he was supposed to marry another woman that his family had chosen for him. In the land of love, men like to chase woman, and woman love to be pursued. The relationship is over, so he is no longer frightened. But look at his eyes,if he looks vulnerable and laughs in a funny way he likes you A year & 1/2 later ( now 3yr 1/2 ) he changed his mind & didn’t even Tell me. So right now move on and date guys who can see what a great catch you are. Ty, a man with a car and a job (to afford it) have to take time to work (especially farming — not a 8 to 5 occupation, but 12-16 hour a day X 7 days a week job (especially during planting and harvest time). Jody, I’m in your EXACT situation right now, I felt so broken after he said he didnt want a relationship. I am so spent …. I told him I was happy with the way things were, tht i was just saying something that i feel because i like spending time with him. I realize this … I cannot bear to be hurt again. I don’t get it. Reply. To me it’s obvious that he just wants sex, but at the same time, why track me down time after time again, ask me to be loyal even though there’s no commitment and get all territorial over me? If his response is “nah I don’t want to do that. He says he cares for me a lot and may perceive it as love one day; that he sees it as a strong possibility but cannot say either way. 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